Tag Archives: People

Is Oscar Mayer’s Bologna Beauty Mask Just . . . Baloney?

by doctorads

(Aditor’s note: Sharp-eyed readers of this site – both of them – will have noticed that the good doctor has been AWOL for the past couple of years. He says he’s been off working on the snack menu for The Obama Presidential Center. We have our doubts, but live and let learn, that’s our slogan.)

Well, the Doc opened up the old mailbag when he finally got back to the Global Worldwide Dispensary and here’s what poured out.

Dear Dr. Ads,

So there I was minding my own business and reading People magazine when I came across this story.

Oscar Mayer Launches a Bologna Sheet Mask — and No, It’s Not Made of Real Bologna

For anyone who ever made a face out of a slice of bologna by biting holes for their eyes and mouth, boy does Oscar Mayer have something for you.

The iconic brand is stretching itself beyond the meat and cold cut business, and stepping into the beauty world by dropping the first-ever bologna-inspired face mask.

Though not actually made of bologna, the masks — made in partnership with premier Korean beauty and skincare company Seoul Mamas — are designed to resemble slices of the deli meat, mimicking its instantly recognizable color.

They include hydrating and restoring hydrogel that promote skin elasticity, improves hydration and moisture retention, offers anti-inflammatory benefits, and provides protection for the skin.

Wait, what? Phoney baloney is supposed to sell real bologna?

Help me out here, Doc.

– Meatless in Seattle

Dear Meatless,

Long way from cold cuts to cold cream, yeah? Regardless, the masks are producing beautiful results for the Bologna Barons.

According to this piece by Kelly Tyko for USA Today, “the Oscar Mayer bologna masks are sold out for now on Amazon but could be restocked. ‘Due to unexpected incredibly high demand, we are working to get the sheet masks back in stock over the coming days,’ Kraft Heinz said in a statement to USA TODAY. The masks were also listed as Amazon’s ‘#1 new release’ in beauty and personal care Wednesday.”

Here’s the meatpacker’s promotional video.

The Doc especially likes the warning at :07: “DO NOT EAT. OSCAR MAYER Bologna Face Masks Do Not Contain Real Bologna.”

Really.

If Barbie Is So #Unapologetic, What’s with the NYT Ad?

by Campaign Outsider

DrAdsforProfileWell the Doc opened up the old mailbag today and here’s what poured out.

Dear Dr. Ads,

I’m a big fan of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition (hey – I read it for the articles), so imagine my surprise when Barbie® turned up as one of the Barbies featured in this year’s model.

Then I saw this full-page ad in the New York Times.

 

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What is this, Doc – some sorta Hall of Vanity Mirrors?

– Ken

Dear Ken,

That doesn’t capture the half of it.

This put-another-swimsuit-on-the-Barbie campaign is a masterstroke of marketing, generating media coverage from Trenton to Taipei.

Representative sample (via Yahoo! Shine):

Barbie Graces Cover of “Sports Illustrated,” Mom Wants Apology

In what can only be described as a bizarre marketing move, a bikini-clad Barbie is being featured on the wrap cover of the 2014 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, debuting this week. That’s right, unrealistic curves and all. For 50 years, the sports 470_2759313magazine has dedicated one cover a year to scantily clad ladies like Kate Upton and Brooklyn Decker, and for their 50th anniversary, they are paying tribute to a doll.

Really? Barbie on the wrap cover of what has become the “sexiest” magazine cover of the year? The unveiling of which is surrounded by as much pomp and circumstance as People’s“Sexiest Man of the Year” or Time’s “Person of the Year?” This is not only sexualizing a child’s doll, but making the ultimate unattainable body (that’s not even human) the epitome of female perfection. (Yes, I know it is the promotional wrap and not the actual cover but STILL!)

 

Seriously – angry Moms are gold to any marketer chasing the 18-49 demo, the population most coveted by advertisers.

Meanwhile, here’s what #Unapologetic gets you.

 

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And etc.

Yo.